Brene and Barrett on BRAVING trust

Key takeaways from Brene and Barrett about trust

PODCAST SUMMARIES

Abby Miller

10/15/20242 min read

a close up of a bunch of glass marbles
a close up of a bunch of glass marbles

Today's podcast was brought by Brene Brown and her teammate, Barrett on the topic of trust.

I used marbles as the picture today for her metaphor on trust. In many classrooms (maybe yours was one of them), teachers use a marble jar to reward positive behavior. When the marble jar is filled with marbles (aka positive things), they get a reward. Trust works the same way, except when something negative happens, then it's not just 1 marble that's taken out, its multiple, a handful, or sometimes it dumps the whole jar.

Takeaway 1: The Two-Word Check-in

As a TLC team, we love High-Low -Buffalo as a check-in excercise, but something this isn't fitting for large groups or short meetings. If this is the case, Brene's Two-Word Check-in is it, and it's pretty self explanatory: everyone gives two words at the beginning of the meeting

Takeaway 2: They will still be sad and lonely.

Many leaders shy away from two word check-ins or asking how their teammates are doing because they are scared they won't be able to respond appropriately to a vulnerable answer like "I'm sand and lonely". As leaders, we have to remember that this doesn't change the state of your teammate. They will still be "sad and lonely", but if you don't ask, that actually opens the door to negatively impacting the relationship because your actions likely would be different if you knew your teammate was struggling vs not knowing

Our tip: remember your role is usually NOT to fix. Your role is to step into empathy. (aka the E of the BRAVE framework from Lis Cardiello). Try "Would you like to tell me more?" or "I'm really sorry, please tell me how I can support you."

Takeaway 3: Boundaries are also about what IS okay

Brene painted a metaphor that we often see boundaries as sitting as a king of a castle with a moat and a drawbridge cut off from connecting with others, and it simply isn't the case, and likely because we forget about the other side of the moat. One of her examples was if a teammate in a tense meeting lets emotions show inappropriately through slamming a computer and rolling their eyes. When you confront that teammate, start by connecting "I was frustrated too", then state what IS okay "and it's completely okay to be frustrated", then say what is NOT okay "what isn't okay though is slamming our computer because it was clear that it disrupted the rest of the meeting"

Takeaway 4: Brene's BRAVING inventory

https://brenebrown.com/resources/the-braving-inventory/

Here BRAVING inventory breaks trust down into 7 elements and offers a framework in 1 on 1 meetings for teammate to evaluate how their relationship is doing regarding trust without having to say "can we make sure we trust each other".

Happy leading and teaming!

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